Fear Of Success

In these exciting times of transformation each of us in our own way are being asked to awaken to who we truly are, to step into our power, and to fulfill our mission on earth. What if our hidden fear in pulling this off is about our fear of success, not failure, but success?

What if as a child those important to us convinced us ( knowingly or unknowingly) that we weren’t very smart, or competent, or likable, or that nothing we did was ever quite good enough, and this distorted our real sense of self. Then we grew to believe that we were not capable of doing well in life or that we did not deserve to do well. 

What if we held a childhood belief that who we were was never enough, that in order to be enough we must live up to others' expectations of us. What if we are where we are today because of those expectations. 

Do you still hear your tribe ( family/community/ identity) saying,  Who do you think you are? What do you think you are better than us?

Few things cause more fear of success than a sense that if we follow our dreams, we will betray the people who love us, and more profoundly, loose their love. Further, our deeper unconscious terrors of lose of community and possible isolation can stop us in our tracks. 

We can't imagine how to free ourselves except by messing up. So consciously or unconsciously we provoke self-defeating sabotaging behavior. Even when we pursue our ambitions we have an underly fear.  What will happen if I succeed? Some cultural archetypes equate success with isolation and are so persuasive that in some highly accomplished people they become a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

There is another layer to the fear of success. Many of us have been conditioned to believe that the road to success involves risks, disappointment, competition and envy.

In order to have a healthy relationship with success we must accept that everyone at some time has been afraid. What we are feeling is no different that anyone else. Know that it is time to figure out what our dreams are for ourselves. Once we have figured out what we want to do, we can put a plan together to achieve it. We all need to start somewhere. Just start dreaming, and however big or small, they are good enough. 

Do what makes you happy. Only you can define success for yourself. Here are a few questions to ask yourself along the way.

1) What do you think will happen if you achieve success ?

2) In what ways do you feel undeserving of success?

3) Who are you afraid of hurting or intimidating if you achieve success?

4) In what ways do you self-destruct achievement and success ?

5) How can you improve your self-talk to assist you in achieving your goals?

The only way we can count our life as truly successful is if we are doing what we were meant to do, regardless of what society at large thinks of it. When we follow our dreams and are successful we change the whole world for all time.

Nameste~ Charlene

Personal and Professional Friendships

Personal friends are very special people in our lives. They are the ones we like, love, know and trust. They are the ones who know us best. They are the first people we think about when we make plans. They are the first people we go to when we need someone to talk to. We will phone them up just to talk about nothing, or the most important things in our life. When we are sad they will try their hardest to cheer us up. They give the best hugs in the world! They are the shoulder to cry on, because we know that they truly care about us. They are the ones who know our deepest fears, and insecurities. They support, sympathize and love us on our journey to becoming. These relationships are personal and close to our heart. 

Professional friends are those we offer intimate services for a fee.  A Professional friend connects with the client in a deeply personal way.  A Professional Friend can be a counselor, therapist, consultant, coach, healer, etc.

In every healthy relationship there is a give and take.  In a professional situation, a Professional friend gives up focus on themselves to focus their attention on the other, their wants, needs, and desires in return for a fee. The form of payment with a Professional friend is usually money.  With a personal friend, we help them with their problems and in return they help us with ours.

Those of us in the healing and teaching fields chose this profession because it is a calling to serve humanity through these modalities. In our profession we draw from many years of personal and professional experiences. We do this services because we love life and deeply want to help.

Those we serve allow us into their private world, they trust us and feel safe with us. They value our genuine caring, our contribution to life, and they feel good in our presence. They sense a bond and friendship that has developed between us. This is healthy, and helps to facilitate healing.

However, after awhile many clients want to know the professional on a personal basis. They want to hang out with them, they want a personal friendship. While the professional genuinely cares about your well-being and growth, they get paid to focus on you.  If you paid them and they focused on their needs, wants, and desires you probably wouldn’t want to pay them because the relationship would feel out of balanced.  

It is my belief that to cross or blur those boundaries  between personal and professional friendships does not serve either parties in the long run.

I don’t need anything

She had an amazing breakthrough, the answer was long in coming, but here it was right in front of her. How could she not have seen this, how could she not know? Over the years she questioned, “what am I doing to block energy, why were my exchanges so unequal, especially financially?”

She watched her friends and family, they didn’t seem to be challenged in this area. She could not accept that this was her destiny, because if it was why was she still pursuing an understanding.

In reflecting back over her life she learned to be independent, strong, responsible, reliable, dependable, and a good worker, out of survival necessity. These were good qualities, weren’t they? 

She cared about people and in her sensitivities to others needs and pain she learned to give of herself freely. It took a long time but over time she noticed the more she did or gave the more was asked of her. This inequality of her giving and receiving was puzzling, was she not good enough, did she not deserve, did she not have value. She tried all the harder and gave, and gave even more, until one day in a long drawn out illness, when she could no longer give to others.  All her focus and energy  was now on healing herself.  During this time it came to her that all those years people were responding to an unconscious message she was projecting, “ I don’t need anything”. How did this happen?

Yes, she was self sufficient since childhood, she had to be, she could only rely on herself to get her needs met. Early on it became clear to her that love and kudos came to her for a job well done. Others came first, she became a good little caretaker.

This awakening of this hidden belief was profoundly freeing to her. The opposite was true, she really needed many things from life. Now she understood why they  did not come.

She had read that when humans speak only 10% of what is communicated is verbal the other 90% is nonverbal. What power the unspoken word wields. Today, I am happy to report the exchange of energy she gives and receives is dramatically improved.

 I guess if she could talk to you herself, her question might be ,“ what are you communicating non-verbally ?

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

When life gives us experiences and challenges that we feel ill equipped to handle we often spiral into negative thought patterns which create a self critical path in our brain. These thoughts running through our conscious mind with sufficient emotional force enters our subconscious as a “truth”. Some of these may be, I am not good enough, I am not valued, I am not loved, I don’t deserve, I am damaged. I did something wrong, I must be punished, and on and on. If not checked can lead to a life of depression, despair and more. 

This deep path, trodden for many years causes us to feel very insecure, vulnerable and unloved. To compensate we try to make up for these so called flaws by giving and doing for others, thus loose our sense of self, making us feel stifled and uncomfortable. We spend far too much of our time worrying about what other people want and think. By neglecting to develop self love and inner happiness, it puts us in the vulnerable position of needing all our love and happiness to come from others.

By focusing our energy outward, and then expecting that someone else should be filling the void created by our neglect in developing strong self love, we put ourselves in a position of powerlessness. Besides, It is not our job to make others happy, it is actually impossible.Waiting for someone else to give us what we need to feel validated, happy, loved, and fulfilled is a sure recipe for frustration. 

The way back to our selves is love. Loving that which we perceive as unlovable and unacceptable within us. What’s love got to do with it? Everything! To experience real self love, we need to create our own sense of well-being, and learn to honor and value ourselves in our thoughts, our words, and importantly, our actions.

What gives any belief its power is no more and no less than our belief in it. We often don’t give ourselves credit for our courage to endure the suffering, challenge and to move through it, and most of all to survive it.

In this radicle time of change many of us are awakening to the fact that its important to love ourselves. This is the only thing we have any control over amidst all the transformation, systems breaking down, as life seems to be falling apart.

We know it is time to heal, to let go that which no longer serves, to forgive others, and love ourselves. But, we often get stuck on how to love ourselves?   And if we knew how to love ourselves, how do we continue the practice?  Self-love is appreciating who we are,no matter what we have experienced or done. We must learn to feel good about ourselves, directing loving thoughts inward, and being good to ourself through actions. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow.

We cultivate love by allowing our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known. Honoring the spiritual connection that grows from that suffering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. To gain positive results in our lives, our actions have to match our desires. Action is the fuel that drives us in the direction we want to go. Without fuel, we drift, and if we are using the wrong kind of fuel (actions that are taking us away from where we want to go) we end up either powering off in the wrong direction or creating a malfunction in our lives. This type of malfunction can show up as illness, depression, or a whole range of unpleasant emotions. If we are continuously taking actions that go against what we truly want, we can expect results that we are less than thrilled with.

I know that we are not our experiences, we simply had these experiences. Every life, because we were born, has a right to be here, and there is a calling for our lives.  It is soothing for me to look at life as The Source having a human experience.  

How do we deal with all the changes,  live life without fear and know that no matter what happens, no matter what happens, we are going to be all right. We are going to be all right. It is about having an open heart, being able to openly receive the possibility of all that is. We must decide today to make our happiness and development of practical self love a priority.

The Power of Uranus

For several weeks I had been on edge, antsy, and agitated. It felt like an earthquake was about to happen inside me.Then on March 11th a massive earthquake hit Japan. Ironically that same day the planet Uranus transited into Aries. Following that I had a major anxiety/panic attack lasting two days.

The planet Uranus impacts the nervous system, and all things electrical, which includes the body's bio-electromagnetic subtle energy system.When transiting Uranus triggers any one of numerous factors in an astrological chart -- other planets, house cusps, etc --- it can manifest in an individual's daily life as the experience of anxiety. Thus the effect on my nervous system.

The influence of Uranus is revealed through innovations, break-throughs, shifts in perception, sudden turns, rebellion, independence, invention, surprises, liberation, disruption, awakening, and yes, earthquakes.

Uranus plays an important role as the provocateur, the bringer of the cosmic wake-up call for both individuals and the collective as a whole. Just when we relax into our comfortable, stable lives, Uranus disrupts the scene. It can be through an event that happens to us, or self-initiated acts spurned on by a desire for change.

With Uranus moving into Aries until 2018, we will be placed on a new stage that is set to shift a generation of events. It is this shift of Uranus into Aries that activates a new phase of our Life Journey as changes reveal our “True Self”.

Aries is the beginning of the zodiac and thus provides the seeds of self expression, motives, and ethics that determine the response and "karma" of reaping the seeds that are sown. If there are issues that require adjustments or disclosures before this can happen, Uranus will bring total perspective of the inner and outer workings of situations to facilitate this revealing process. 

Usually Uranus assesses and reviews the seven-year events that occurred while Uranus was moving through the previous sign (Pisces from 2003 - 2010) that determines the seeds planted and the reflected events that are now ready to reveal the appropriate harvest. Uranus in Pisces prompts many delusional events that when Uranus moves into Aries, reality will hit hard.

This is a time of "finding yourself", when you begin to feel uncomfortable with your current life path and behavior patterns. Your ego is awakened, and you feel compelled to express yourself in unique and perhaps unusual or unconventional ways. With your increased openness to all that is new and different, you may encounter opportunities that appear to come out of the blue. Routine begins to bore you, and your current responsibilities may seem overwhelming. Your consciousness expands to the point where you are receptive to new ways of thinking and patterns of living. Especially if you are female, you may begin a relationship with a male, and this association leads you into undiscovered territory or some kind of break from your past. This can be an exciting period of your life that is filled with change and stimulation. You might begin or end relationships, start a new career path, or move to a new location. 

So, what does that mean to me. First I am an Aries, so this transit will affect my life and all other Aries personally in a major way over the next seven years. Aries are those born (March 21 to April 20) Aries Traits: Adventurous and energetic-Pioneering and courageous-Enthusiastic and confident-Dynamic and quick-witted. 

The Sun in Aries gives the will free rein to express itself. This could be done in the form of some leadership role, or by encouraging and inspiring others to look at themselves in a new way. This could also be accomplished by knowingly carrying out a deliberate act in the name of some cause. 

During the next seven years be mindful that Aries governs the head and brain, and Arians are said to be prone to headaches, particularly migraines, sunstroke, neuralgia and depression. Indigestion and nervous disorders are also threats to you, and your rashness, impetuosity and wholesale physical commitment make you liable to accidents and physical injuries.

More clues to the nature of the potential changes can be found in the conditions in your natal chart--its house position, aspects, and the areas of the chart that it rules. 

If you are interested in finding out how this transit will effect you go to my web site to schedule an appointment.

http://www.charleneryan.com/services.html

Prior blog on Uranus

http://charleneryan.blogspot.com/2010/05/powerful-major-planetary-t-square.html

Gonna Let My Little Light Shine

I believe that we should always reach for life, and that which is life giving no matter what. In saying that, I also know there is a time to let go of life. These last few weeks have been a blessing and painful. Helen my mother-in-law passed over February 7, 2011. She lived a full 90 years and touched many lives as she journeyed through her life. For an outsider it might have looked like an ordinary life, but up close there were many extraordinary moments, some of them beautiful and others deeply soul wrenching. Through it all she choose to reach for life here on this plane, and then, when it was time to leave she reached for life on the other side into the calling of her new journey. Her passing was graceful and peaceful as she gently surrendered. 

To be in the dying process with another is an amazing experience, one that I feel honored to participate in. As I watched Helen letting go I recognized that it was also my time to let go, to release an old pattern I had been in-prisoned by for most of my life. 

So much about ones own life is revealed when we loose someone close to us. Somehow we are invited to look deeper into the mystery of our own life, and what we could not see before, is now revealed with such sharp clarity. Through the dying process with Helen I was able to see with 20/20 vision aspects of myself that were hidden. I was able to know with certainty that one piece of my life that had been out of reach for me for so long had now been reveled and healed.

For those of you who have read my book “Memoirs of a Mystic” know about the wounds and betrayal I experienced at a very young age with my father and my mother. Through this early conditioning I learned to shut down my joie-de-vivre and with it my creativity.  Year after year it was reinforced, that who I truly was had to be suppressed, it was not safe to shine. My internal message, “I am afraid to shine, was in conflict with, I don't feel complete unless I shine.” 

Over the years I did find many outlets for my joy and creativity but I always stayed under the radar. I had carried with me these wounds throughout my life  feeling that the pain, sadness, and emptiness would never leave me, so, I set out to try to heal the wounds of others instead.

The challenge was that my soul was always restless, calling me, prodding me to reach for life and that which is life giving, to reach for peace, understanding and forgiveness, not of others, for I recognized early on they played a significant role in my life lessons, it was more about forgiveness of myself.  The one thing I most wanted  in my life was to share with the world my many magical experiences, my intuitive knowing, and who I truly am.  It is fascinating to me as one light goes out, Helen’s, another turns on and shines.  February 7th was the day of Helen’s death and the day of my re-birth.

For days I have been hearing in my head this sweet little song I learned as a child. I sing this in Honor of Helen. I love you and I will miss you.

This little light of mine - I’m gonna let it shine

This little light of mine - I’m gonna let it shine

Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine

All Around My Neighborhood - I’m gonna let it shine

All Around the world - I’m gonna let it shine

Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine

I won’t let no one put it out – I’m gonna let it shine

I won’t let nothing keep it out  - I’m gonna let it shine

Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine

Every day, in every way,

I’m gonna let my little light shine.

“Speak Loudly Sweet Soul”

People like us, who believe in psychics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.” ~ Albert Einstein, Theoretical Physicist, Philosopher and Author 

As a psychic I have learned to trust and honor what is given to me through my Soul. For each of us the Soul is that which our God Presence uses to express through us. When I listen to the language of my Soul, I am guided and I offer guidance to those who come to me. It has been a most precious gift to me on a personal level.

Einstein is right, we have been living in a persistent illusion. In these radical times of great change, ours is to listen and learn the language of our soul. We must learn to trust our psychic knowing for life as we know it is collapsing. We are being called to awaken out of the illusion, awaken to who we truly are.

As the world changes, our old way of being in the world is likely to be wrongly perceived or interpreted by the senses.  What we could once trust with our mind, no longer works, we must now listen deeper to our Soul.  When we listen with our mind we feel confused, lost, anxious, fearful, nervous, and depressed. Our Soul only speaks from love, peace, joy and clarity,

These are but a few steps to take each day to hear the language of your Soul.

Meditate 10 minutes a day

Sit in silence

Notice how you feel

Notice your breath

Ask your Soul” are you there”

Trust what you hear

Journal write it down  

Many years ago I wrote this poem:

“Speak Loudly Sweet Soul”

In my silence I wait for you

Sometimes patient

Sometimes in turmoil

Precious Soul to touch you

To hear your words of love

Would make this journey oh so clear

The roar - the sound in my head - so loud

Always chatter of a distant past 

Of long died dreams

A future not yet come

I’ve tried so hard to get to you

Unraveling old faded dreams

Fears, monsters -Feeling unsafe

Lonely all the time

Venturing to foreign lands

Journeys outside of me

In search of something 

I sense you there Sweet Soul

Speak loudly So I can hear

Your language 

Speak loudly so I can find  

A place to call my own

Speak loudly Sweet Soul

I want to come home

Charlene Ryan