What’s Love Got to Do With It?

When life gives us experiences and challenges that we feel ill equipped to handle we often spiral into negative thought patterns which create a self critical path in our brain. These thoughts running through our conscious mind with sufficient emotional force enters our subconscious as a “truth”. Some of these may be, I am not good enough, I am not valued, I am not loved, I don’t deserve, I am damaged. I did something wrong, I must be punished, and on and on. If not checked can lead to a life of depression, despair and more. 

This deep path, trodden for many years causes us to feel very insecure, vulnerable and unloved. To compensate we try to make up for these so called flaws by giving and doing for others, thus loose our sense of self, making us feel stifled and uncomfortable. We spend far too much of our time worrying about what other people want and think. By neglecting to develop self love and inner happiness, it puts us in the vulnerable position of needing all our love and happiness to come from others.

By focusing our energy outward, and then expecting that someone else should be filling the void created by our neglect in developing strong self love, we put ourselves in a position of powerlessness. Besides, It is not our job to make others happy, it is actually impossible.Waiting for someone else to give us what we need to feel validated, happy, loved, and fulfilled is a sure recipe for frustration. 

The way back to our selves is love. Loving that which we perceive as unlovable and unacceptable within us. What’s love got to do with it? Everything! To experience real self love, we need to create our own sense of well-being, and learn to honor and value ourselves in our thoughts, our words, and importantly, our actions.

What gives any belief its power is no more and no less than our belief in it. We often don’t give ourselves credit for our courage to endure the suffering, challenge and to move through it, and most of all to survive it.

In this radicle time of change many of us are awakening to the fact that its important to love ourselves. This is the only thing we have any control over amidst all the transformation, systems breaking down, as life seems to be falling apart.

We know it is time to heal, to let go that which no longer serves, to forgive others, and love ourselves. But, we often get stuck on how to love ourselves?   And if we knew how to love ourselves, how do we continue the practice?  Self-love is appreciating who we are,no matter what we have experienced or done. We must learn to feel good about ourselves, directing loving thoughts inward, and being good to ourself through actions. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow.

We cultivate love by allowing our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known. Honoring the spiritual connection that grows from that suffering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. To gain positive results in our lives, our actions have to match our desires. Action is the fuel that drives us in the direction we want to go. Without fuel, we drift, and if we are using the wrong kind of fuel (actions that are taking us away from where we want to go) we end up either powering off in the wrong direction or creating a malfunction in our lives. This type of malfunction can show up as illness, depression, or a whole range of unpleasant emotions. If we are continuously taking actions that go against what we truly want, we can expect results that we are less than thrilled with.

I know that we are not our experiences, we simply had these experiences. Every life, because we were born, has a right to be here, and there is a calling for our lives.  It is soothing for me to look at life as The Source having a human experience.  

How do we deal with all the changes,  live life without fear and know that no matter what happens, no matter what happens, we are going to be all right. We are going to be all right. It is about having an open heart, being able to openly receive the possibility of all that is. We must decide today to make our happiness and development of practical self love a priority.